No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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