Your face is a jimmy john
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
