Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
