Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
