Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
