All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
