You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
