At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
