i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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