the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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