he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
