no, he came in my armpit
Say something about gay babies.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
