"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
