3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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