I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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