i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
