community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
