He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
