so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
