fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm too high and old for this...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
