If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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