The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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