there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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