Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
