Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
