I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
