my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
