whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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