i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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