So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
