Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
