NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
