No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
