This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
