the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I want her autograph on my taint
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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