she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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