Its about making memories worth repressing
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
