found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
