The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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