OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
