Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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