just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
