I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
