just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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