Yo dont text me then not text me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
