my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
how drunk are you?
Several
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
