his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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