Acid is not a monday night drug
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How does one acquire holy water?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
