You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize