why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
