Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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