Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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