I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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