I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
