I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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