Kareoke will never be a sober sport
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
