i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize