I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
