He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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