My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
