booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
