you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
