he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
