Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
