May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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