i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
