Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks

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(970): View more from Colorado

Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.

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(631): View more from New York

I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!

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(941): View more from Florida

I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.

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(208): View more from Idaho

He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.

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