HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have fence marks all over my body
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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